I was hanging out at a friend's house the other day and her husband and her both informed me that I sing to myself a lot. He said that I whistle to myself, which I denied. I just can't admit that one since I hate the sound of whistling.
I figured the singing was a side effect of having a kid that responds so well to it (he has me trained, right?). But they both agreed that, no, I have done this for a long time. I also did not want to believe that. Who sings to themselves all the time?
Apparently I do. See, the thing is, I wake up every morning with a different song in my head. Usually it is just part of a song. I am ok with it when it is a song from my playlist on itunes, or from the current CD in my car. But when it is a song from elementary school musicals, that I didn't even like back then, I find it a bit unnerving. Who wants to wake up with "stirring and stirring and stirring my brew.. woo hoo, woo hoo" in their heads?
This morning I woke up to the words "the first time that you introduced me to your friends, and you could tell that I was nervous, so you held my hand" from a Lily Allen song. That would be one from my CD in my car, so I am ok with that. Except that the same lines kept running over and over in my head.
Later on in the shower the song changed to Frere Jacque. Heaven help me.
So, as I usually do, I decided to over think my habit of self singing. First off, it is a bit embarrassing to think that I am betraying my inner soundtrack so unknowingly. What if I was singing Vanilla Ice in my head? Oh the horror.
But, in all reality, I already have moments where my inner dialogue is compromised by my untrustworthy mouth. I do, however, feel much worse for the victim of my machine gun thoughts. The one-sided dialogue is usually a painful pros and cons argument that does nothing but makes me look like a fickle flip flopper of sorts (damn you gifted program who forced me into divergent thinking and devalued the beauty of concise convergent thought).
So, here is the real point of this post. I would love to know what is playing on my friends internal soundtracks. If you read this and you have an answer, I would love it if you would post it. Now, be honest. If you are really hearing "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" we won't judge you. In fact, you will just infect us all. Great.. that one is going to run through my head all day.
So, in closing, I suppose I will admit that I am a self singer and yes, a self whistler. I hear music all day in my head. I listen to it constantly. I also write it, and adore it. Certain albums have brought light to my darkest hours and still stand as solid revelatory soundtracks for times in my life that seemed to have no direction or meaning.
There is beauty in being able to identify with music. It frees us from the bondage of defining our thoughts, ideas and feelings, and then narrowing them down to just words. I suppose we just have to be aware that if we sing them aloud, someone may be listening.
5 comments:
My internal soundtrack depends on what activity I am up to. Often it's something from my workout play list. (Right now, it's "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy)
When I was finishing my triathlon, it was "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. And just in general, I've been singing "Useless Desires" by Patty Griffin.
We'll see what's on my ipod in the car and it's sure to change.
I'm constantly singing to myself or have something running through my head. It's usually somewhat decent music, but often something that was just playing in a terrible commercial that I wake up unable to excise from my brain. But these days, I'm working on a children's television show that's partly musical, so the songs I get stuck in my head are along the lines of how to pronounce the "ou" sound and what words it appears in. Which I'm coming to terms with, but for which my husband is ready to kill me. Especially when I start singing them while we're out at a restaurant.
Take comfort in the idea that you are not alone... inside or outside your thoughts and that, better yet, it comes with its own theme song! I too sing out loud, and whistle, and hum, and mumble incoherently for that matter. This morning I woke up with M.I.A. Paper Planes in my head and I can't even STAND that one! I am willing to sing childrens songs from my days serving in the nursery just to get it out. Yesterday it was a mixture of Angels and Airwaves and Travis Barker Remixes. (Angels and Airwaves because I really really like them, and Travis Barker because he was on the news) and even as I type I can hear a Simple Plan song coming along. But I think something Michale Buble might be better suited for this cold morning, since I am the only one up yet. Yes.. that will do nicely. Dang! Now I have Happy Trails in my head because I was going to make some witty comment as an ending to this! Ugh.
For what it's worth, I can't readily recall you ever mindlessly whistling. Singing, yep. Ever since high school. Or did it start with Mr. Big in middle school? Anyway, for YEARS, a refrain from a Billie Holliday song was always in my mind. "Oh why, can't I forget you? I know so well what is in store. A moment or two in the clouds with you, and then back where I was before..." That's okay, since I love that song.
Post a Comment